Fundamentally, they are unstable, like three legs on a table.Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because triangles usually end up hurting people more than anything else.By the way, when people say they are afraid of intimacy think ‘exposure’ to what they themselves have difficulty accepting in themselves.
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I know the story books tell us that it’s better to stay together.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.
She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes in when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.
If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.
If you love a married woman and you’re in a love relationship with her, read this post.
You are engaged in what is commonly thought of as a ‘triangle.’ Triangles are rough on the heart.
Instead defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love-life. What you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
All three people in this triangular arrangement have their issues.
Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.
It doesn’t matter how passionate the sex with the ‘other man’ in her life is, she is not leaving her husband.