We know that’s going to piss a lot of people off, and we’re more or less tongue-in-cheek with this advice, but it’s what the numbers say.
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Go out and cultivate a hobby of some sort, and then get back to us. You wouldn't sit down at a bar and tell someone your life story (that role is reserved for the old and deranged), so choose something you and the dude have in common and start with that. I'll stomp on it and you'll be pissed, but you'll get over it because I'm just so gosh-darned charming. Take, say, three minutes to pound out a more personal message. Why no one wants you: We'll let you know after we examine that snapshot. You know that section where the girl/guy has indicated what s/he's "looking for"? According to an OKCupid study, calling someone "sexy," "beautiful" or "hot" is a huge turnoff in a first message.
We kind of feel like we've already dated you, and we were bored the first time around. I would love to take you down to the playground and push you on the swings! Or to the ocean to build a giant sand castle by the sea! Yeah, dating is a numbers game and whatnot, but no one wants to be number 1,000. Why no one wants you: Kindly detach yourself from my leg.
Maybe they set a more casual tone that people prefer, though I have to say, You had me at ‘what’s up’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.
There are many words on the effective end of our list like (double yes!
Tons of folks are hooking up with future life partners (or dates or flings or accommodating couples) via the Web nowadays. And the place where that awkwardness has the most opportunity to shine is, undoubtedly, in your first message to a potential swain.
Hey, it's great that you're a nonconformist who has his own trained tarantula circus, and any girl who's into well-behaved bugs is sure to dig you, but trying too hard to be interesting is just that: trying too hard. Man up and say something, while avoiding numbers 1 through 6, that is.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.
In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.
Scientifically, this is because it’s a little evil sounding.